So often in life, we have a great idea, a goal, or something we want to commit to. In our enthusiasm, we share it far and wide. We announce it to others, spend money preparing for it, and act as if it’s already accomplished. We buy that gym membership, get supplies for painting, or set up a yoga space at home. But more often than not, many of us experience the disappointing reality of our enthusiasm fading, and the “great idea” eventually dies. When this happens repeatedly, we lose confidence in our ability to follow through and often give up.
Achieving success in our aspirations is possible—even after multiple failures—when we align our whole self and internal psyche with our goals. Becoming curious about the parts of ourselves that typically undermine us with messages of past failures or unworthiness is crucial. Understanding these aspects can help us move forward.
If you’re truly ready to succeed in your commitments to yourself, try these five tips:
Let the Idea Be a Tiny Flicker: Protect it. Cup your hands around it so it doesn’t get extinguished by external messages or internal doubts. Get familiar with the feeling of this small flame when you simply sit with it. Notice what parts of you try to extinguish it right away.
Accept the Internal Resistance: Recognize that there will be internal parts of you trying to douse the flame. You don’t need to eliminate them to move toward success. Instead, acknowledge their presence, be curious about their role, and reassure them that you’ve got this. For example, a part of you reminding you of past failures might be trying to protect you from future disappointment. Appreciate its intent and let it be heard.
Take One Tiny Step Forward: Allow the flame to grow slightly by taking a small step. Pause and protect the flame again, allowing yourself to acclimate to this tiny effort. Stay with it until this small step feels like a natural part of your progress.
Continue with Another Small Step: Repeat the process of taking another small step forward, while observing and acclimating to the experience. Accept that there may be internal and external voices attempting to diminish your efforts. Keep protecting and nurturing the growing flame.
Be Attentive to Your Progress: Notice how taking these small steps feels. What aspects make you feel good, strong, confident, or calm? What aspects feel shaky or sabotaging? Accept that the whole of you is involved in this process. You don’t need to eliminate negativity to move forward. Instead, support and acknowledge all parts of yourself, including those that may have played a role in past challenges.
Little flickers can grow into bonfires when we protect and nurture them with only as much fuel as they can handle. Keep moving forward with patience and care—you’ve got this!
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